Moment of the Week: A Case of Mistaken Identity

Normally my bagel Friday is rather uneventful.  I head to the Panera Bakery-Cafe near my house, and grab a coffee with a whole-grain bagel, toasted, topped with Reduced-Fat Blueberry Cream Cheese.  I find a quiet table and relax for a few moments, eating and checking my email.

But today was different.  I walk into Panera, and get in line.  As I wait, I start scanning the restaurant, reviewing the seating possibilities.  As my gaze starts to pull back, I realize this older gentleman sitting at a table is smiling at me.  I recognize him.  It’s a family friend, Chuck, that I’ve known since I was a kid.  I smile back and wave.

Eventually I get to the front of the line, place my order, and head to the coffee station.  As I’m getting my coffee just the way I like it (black, with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a splash of half-and-half, in case you’re wondering), I see Chuck smiling at me again, so I smile back, and give him a finger (not THAT finger) saying I’ll be over in a second.  He nods.  My pager buzzes, telling me my bagel is ready.  I go to the counter, grab the plate and head over to talk to Chuck.

As I get increasingly closer to his table, he starts grinning, and then I realize something.

IT’S. NOT. CHUCK. 

It’s a complete stranger.  I stood there at his table, holding my bagel, in painful silence.

Eventually some awkward conversation ensued.

Pseudo-Chuck: “Good morning.”

Me: “Good morning.”  [insert uncomfortable laugh]

Pseudo-Chuck: “Whatcha got there?”

Me: [another umcomfortable laugh] “Oh, just a bagel.”

Pseudo-Chuck: “Looks good.”

Me: “Yup. So, um, okay…I’m going to get started on my bagel then.  It’s really callin’ my name, so…” [yet another uncomfortable laugh]

Pseudo-Chuck: “Oh.  Okay.”

It was P-A-I-N-F-U-L.

(Side note:  I’ve done something similar only one other time that I can remember, years ago at my office.  I was heading down a long, narrow hallway towards the restroom when I saw a co-worker I knew coming towards me, at the other end.  I yelled out, “I DON’T THINK I’M GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE TOILET IN TIME!!!”, referencing an inside joke we had.  I didn’t get a response.  Turns out, as we got closer, it wasn’t my co-worker.  We passed each other in silence.  He’s probably still wondering, to this day, why I loudly announced my need to use the restroom.  Once again, awkward.)

Anyway, back to my story…

The conversation ended.  Pseudo-Chuck looked around, I looked around.  Doo-dee-doo.  As I shuffled away and found a table in the far, far back, one thing kept repeating in my head:  “Must. Wear. Glasses.”